How do I get over my married affair partner?

A divorced woman aches after unkept promises leave her single for the first time.

Dear Lauren,

I was in an affair for over two years. My affair partner said that he said he was leaving his wife whether I was there or not, that they haven’t been happy for years. However, he ended up saying that he didn’t have the guts to leave his family, but truly loves me. He said it’s more his daughter.

I met my affair partner three months after my ex-husband left me for another woman after almost 25 years together. I don’t know how to get past this. I am currently almost two months of no contact with him. The longest I ever went was 109 days, and then I unblocked him on social media and he reached out. I think of him daily. How do I get over this?

Sincerely,
Heartbroken

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Dear Heartbroken,

Here’s the thing: you may be grieving your affair partner AND your marriage at the same time right now. It can be hard to extrapolate the two.

When you meet someone new for the first time after an unexpected end to a marriage, it can be exponentially more impactful when that relationship ends. That relationship is a balm to your aching soul. And the end to that relationship catapults you into a heartbreak where all of a sudden you’re grappling with the loss of everything, all together, compounded.