I'm Having an Affair With My Cousin's Husband.
A single affair partner wonders about the road forward from the complexity of an affair within the same family.
Dear Lauren,
Unfortunately I'm the affair woman here. I've been having an affair with my cousin's husband for the past give months, and while at first it was sexual, it has developed into passionate love.
I'm separated from my husband and have two kids while he's still with his wife and also has two kids. His wife, aka my cousin, is a high-functioning alcoholic. I don't know where to go from here as we want to be together in real life, but know the repercussions that will follow if our affair will be found.
I feel so helpless and not sure how to go from here.
Sincerely,
Cousin
Dear Cousin,
An affair with a relative’s spouse adds a layer of complexity to the already delicate task of starting a life with an affair partner. You can’t know where to go from here because essentially, those steps are for your cousin’s husband to determine. You’re single. He’s still married to your cousin. So hang on, because it’s only been five months and there are layers to deal with. First things first.
Once your cousin’s husband handles the subject of his marriage, which is the first task, you two would need to handle the subject of reconfiguring into a new couple within the same extended family. While reunions and holidays might get awkward, the ability to do this entirely depends on the family structure, amount of exposure to and relationship with each other, and ability for the rest of the family to find eventual acceptance and support of the changes. None of which are impossible, but it’s best to level with the reality of what you’ll be dealing with in your particular case.
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